Narrative playlist

I made a lengthy playlist dedicated to my dear friend Earl. It’s the first time in a while I’ve made a playlist this long. It’s one of the few playlists I’ve made for a friend. And it’s the only playlist I’ve ever made to include a narrative with it. I highly suggest you give it a shot someday when you have time to kill. It was a quite cathartic experience for me and I got to listen to a lot of old tunes that I haven’t listened to in a long time. It reminded me of different times in my life, different phases of me, and music is so very powerful in that way. Music is a time machine. Art is a time machine.

Plus creating something for someone else, even if it is a measly playlist is fun! It adds another element to creating a list of music. Hopefully he enjoys it!

Here is the story behind it: It starts as someone who is coming into their own self identity. They feel energized and are optimistic about their life. They enjoy who they are. They meet someone at a party and they quickly fall in love. These two have a romance unlike any this person has experienced before. Everything is loving and they become engrossed with one another. It’s a fearless love and hearts float above their heads. However something begins to feel awry.

It ends suddenly when their partner cheats on them and gets lost in chaos (drugs, people, etc.) but the two break up to make up. The whole pull and tug of hearts. Anger, disrespect and depression begin to ensue.

Painful yet nostalgic memories flood into their minds but they remain single. They’re just too heartbroken to open up to anyone else. They get lost in their depression and things get really hopeless. They become self deprecating and enjoy sadness and pain. They shy away from any form of happiness.

Then something happens and one day at a time they begin to feel like themselves again. This empowering feeling opens them back up to the idea of happiness. They begin a series of breakthrough and fall into a romance with themselves. Their life becomes as cinematic whimsical world.



I am a 26 year old Japanese American queer cis female who is from the bay area and currently lives in Portland, Oregon with her pitbull named Yuki. She is my pride and joy. I have been sober since 2014 and started to work in the sex industry in December 2016. We moved to Portland about 4 years ago in 2013 and have been learning how to thrive in this grey, wet, yet charming environment of Portland. Three things attracted me to this magic nook on the west coast. Tree tunnels (as I like to call them) that tower over roads swallowing you into a tube of nature, people’s tendency to look you in the eye and ask how you’re doing (with expectation of a genuine answer), and tea houses/coffee shops are a past time here. They say this is the city where 20 year olds come to retire or the city of refugee weirdos who just didn’t quite fit in. My diagnosis of Portland is the city that embraces those who love to isolate and be awkward so if hiding out in your room to geek out on your blog or simply drink tea in your room all day is your thing I suggest you check out what the fuss is about in Portlandia. Although Portland is whimsical in it’s own right it has a major amends to make to it’s citizens of color. It’s been here that I’ve learned the most about activism and politics unfortunately as a result of the city’s non acknowledgement of all of their citizens. The citizens here although progressive in it’s own way participates in it’s own subtle yet powerful microaggressions daily. The city is vanilla to put it lightly. When I am not day dreaming of sunnier days you can find me in a tea shop rambling in my journal about the romantic fantasy of hopping a train or living out of a van, admiring baby doll heads and crooked picture frames, watering my indoor plants desperately trying to learn how to have a green thumb, geeking out on astrology charts, obsessing over Michael Jackson and screaming all his songs, flooding my earphones with Princess Nokia to CocoRosie to Mac Dre to name my top favorites, going to strip clubs, crying, praying, attending pole dancing class and learning a variety of ways to make my beautiful backside bounce, holding hands, blowing bubbles, dismantling the patriarchy, writing a story, a poem or working on a zine. My blog has no rhyme or reason but you may find some of those influences as themes in within my posts. What I do hope to do with my blog is expose myself vulnerably if nothing else as an act of leaving behind a documented record of my human-ness but the truest hope, dream in fact, is to help someone out there to feel less alone. I hope that through my ability to candidly share my rawest sense of self I can help build an online community of witches, activists, freedom fighters, freaks, mermaids, pretty boys, studly girls, theys, and thems.

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