Jonny Jonny Cool Big

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Jonny Jonny, what can I say. I met Jonny at Oregon Country Fair in 2014 at Fairy Market. I didn’t realize this until later but Jonny was the only guy camping in our section. There were about 25 women in camp that year. I have grown to respect Jonny as my friend and as an artist. And this is my ode to my friend, who, for the first time, will be in an entirely different city than me over this summer.


Jonny’s first love is art. His girlfriend is art. His world, in it’s entirety, is art.

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Once he got sick and I went to visit him at the hospital. I knocked on the door and I heard Jonny say “oh, yeah, come in.” I took a deep breath and I prepared myself to walk into a morose situation. Tubes up his nose, sitting in the hospital gown, I saw him sitting upright with a sketch pad in his lap and heard his phone playing music. He was making beats and drawing. Per usual. Nothing about the environment or circumstances compromised his art.
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Man if there’s a layout on how to build your artist empire I tell you, Jonny is the one who’s designing it. I have respect for his person and his work ethic. He’s taught me a lot about never using anything excuse not to create. I’ve watched him be homeless, walk through losing a parent, uncertainties, fears, no phone, no food, no resources and not once did he give up. He tells me, “You can’t give up. You have to remember that you are here to create and give that to the world. You might be what people are praying for.” Above everything he always encourages me to create and for me that’s a rare thing. It’s important to surround yourself with folks who truly believe in you.
Ultimately though, I just love being with my friend and acting like little kids. All the laughs, all the impersonations, doing Bill Cosby dances or the worm, all the Michael Jackson songs and dances, all the philosophical conversations, the food truck gyros and sharing french fries, creating poetry with the word magnets while riding the elevator, trips to Seattle to see Princess Nokia and punk bands, to watching the starlight parade from the fourth floor. Always listening to the lullaby of the beat of a drum.
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I am a 26 year old Japanese American queer cis female who is from the bay area and currently lives in Portland, Oregon with her pitbull named Yuki. She is my pride and joy. I have been sober since 2014 and started to work in the sex industry in December 2016. We moved to Portland about 4 years ago in 2013 and have been learning how to thrive in this grey, wet, yet charming environment of Portland. Three things attracted me to this magic nook on the west coast. Tree tunnels (as I like to call them) that tower over roads swallowing you into a tube of nature, people’s tendency to look you in the eye and ask how you’re doing (with expectation of a genuine answer), and tea houses/coffee shops are a past time here. They say this is the city where 20 year olds come to retire or the city of refugee weirdos who just didn’t quite fit in. My diagnosis of Portland is the city that embraces those who love to isolate and be awkward so if hiding out in your room to geek out on your blog or simply drink tea in your room all day is your thing I suggest you check out what the fuss is about in Portlandia. Although Portland is whimsical in it’s own right it has a major amends to make to it’s citizens of color. It’s been here that I’ve learned the most about activism and politics unfortunately as a result of the city’s non acknowledgement of all of their citizens. The citizens here although progressive in it’s own way participates in it’s own subtle yet powerful microaggressions daily. The city is vanilla to put it lightly. When I am not day dreaming of sunnier days you can find me in a tea shop rambling in my journal about the romantic fantasy of hopping a train or living out of a van, admiring baby doll heads and crooked picture frames, watering my indoor plants desperately trying to learn how to have a green thumb, geeking out on astrology charts, obsessing over Michael Jackson and screaming all his songs, flooding my earphones with Princess Nokia to CocoRosie to Mac Dre to name my top favorites, going to strip clubs, crying, praying, attending pole dancing class and learning a variety of ways to make my beautiful backside bounce, holding hands, blowing bubbles, dismantling the patriarchy, writing a story, a poem or working on a zine. My blog has no rhyme or reason but you may find some of those influences as themes in within my posts. What I do hope to do with my blog is expose myself vulnerably if nothing else as an act of leaving behind a documented record of my human-ness but the truest hope, dream in fact, is to help someone out there to feel less alone. I hope that through my ability to candidly share my rawest sense of self I can help build an online community of witches, activists, freedom fighters, freaks, mermaids, pretty boys, studly girls, theys, and thems.

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